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First World Problems
A friend of mine got yelled at by her therapist when she described some of her anxieties about when to go back to school, whether to keep working full-time rather than sponge off her parents so she could go to classes, et cetera, as 'first world problems' as the therapist thought this was belittling her anxieties rather than admit that they to her were really quite major.
I can see this, I really can, since it's one thing to worry when you've got a nice roof over your head and excellent prospects in your job and career. But at the same time I feel that the therapist missed a bet by not trying to help said friend put her anxiety into perspective, that while choosing whether to apply this year or next is serious, it isn't survival-level important, that she didn't have to stress over it quite so much -- I think calling these 'first world problems' gets to the heart of the matter, that yes, she was justified in some worry, but needed to keep the importance of the decision realistic in scope.
One of the best life-lessons I had in recent years was when I was buying my house, and one of those last minute glitches came up -- it turned out the seller had a lien on the house because of a credit card debt. My real estate attorney called me up to explain the glitch, and forestalled my anxiety breakdown by reminding me that the seller would be very very motivated to settle this ASAP. "There's two types of problems," he said. "There are the ones that money will make go away, and there are the ones that no amount of money will fix."
And as it turned out, the seller was able to negotiate with the credit card lien holders and everything went through, on the original date scheduled for the closing, just like clockwork. Worrying about it -- and being in a position to be buying a house -- are at least middle class anxieties, if not 'first world problems.'
Health, life, death, love -- those are all problems that money, or a life in the First World may ease a little bit here and there, but they won't make them go away no how and no way. It really has helped me keep this in perspective, that while a problem may be solveable by money, you may not always have the money at hand to solve it with... but if you apply yourself and be patient, you may be able to get there eventually. So I don't stress so much about the money thing any more, and if I get, oh, a parking ticket fine, I don't stress about it more than necessary to motivate me to get off my duff and send in the fine money, because this is indeed a problem that money is well spent to make go away....
I can see this, I really can, since it's one thing to worry when you've got a nice roof over your head and excellent prospects in your job and career. But at the same time I feel that the therapist missed a bet by not trying to help said friend put her anxiety into perspective, that while choosing whether to apply this year or next is serious, it isn't survival-level important, that she didn't have to stress over it quite so much -- I think calling these 'first world problems' gets to the heart of the matter, that yes, she was justified in some worry, but needed to keep the importance of the decision realistic in scope.
One of the best life-lessons I had in recent years was when I was buying my house, and one of those last minute glitches came up -- it turned out the seller had a lien on the house because of a credit card debt. My real estate attorney called me up to explain the glitch, and forestalled my anxiety breakdown by reminding me that the seller would be very very motivated to settle this ASAP. "There's two types of problems," he said. "There are the ones that money will make go away, and there are the ones that no amount of money will fix."
And as it turned out, the seller was able to negotiate with the credit card lien holders and everything went through, on the original date scheduled for the closing, just like clockwork. Worrying about it -- and being in a position to be buying a house -- are at least middle class anxieties, if not 'first world problems.'
Health, life, death, love -- those are all problems that money, or a life in the First World may ease a little bit here and there, but they won't make them go away no how and no way. It really has helped me keep this in perspective, that while a problem may be solveable by money, you may not always have the money at hand to solve it with... but if you apply yourself and be patient, you may be able to get there eventually. So I don't stress so much about the money thing any more, and if I get, oh, a parking ticket fine, I don't stress about it more than necessary to motivate me to get off my duff and send in the fine money, because this is indeed a problem that money is well spent to make go away....